is so you can publicly declare your love and your subsequent break-up on Facebook, complete with whole and broken heart icons. No need to talk to friends anymore. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to blog about it anyway. [Oh, and the other reason is a hopefully constant source of sex.]

We should walk around with icons like that floating above our heads or pinned to our shirts. Like Walken wagging his tail when he’s angry, you’d always know where someone’s head was at. Of course, it might be a little awkward say, coming home to your spouse with a shiny new heart icon above you. Or a broken heart. I’m pretty sure if people were that transparent, everyone would just stop getting married. Or perhaps not.

I want to say something pithy and clever and semi-ironic about love’s doomed optimism, but I just can’t. For some reason it hurts my heart to make fun of it.