The Hodg reads from his new book, More Information Than You Require

10:35pm Paul
somebody got contacts today
and that somebody is me
haircut tomorrow
i’ll be like a new man

10:36pm Cari
Woo!
Sexy time for the Paul!
How short are you going or what style?

10:36pm Paul
pretty short
but it’ll just look like when i got here

10:36pm Cari
I think I’m an alcoholic because this week, I feel like I really need alcohol.
Like if I don’t get some at night I want to curl up into a ball and cease myself.
Also, the cigs don’t help.
I never saw you when you got here.
I met John Hodgman tonight.

10:37pm Paul
[snipped]
oh nice

10:38pm Cari
I couldn’t afford his book but now I think I should have made him sign my address book or something.

Then it turns out my friend, with whom I did not stand in line, totally is like his drinking buddy and they all chatted for like 15 minutes.

Now I’m thinking I should have gone back up there and partaken.
Tonight has been very regretful for me…i.e. full of regrets.

I just feel all outside of everything.
And a black hole of what not to do.
Sorry to vent.

10:40pm Paul
s’okay

10:40pm Cari
It’s like we met for a nice chat and I just vomited my angst all over your nice new xmas sweater.

10:40pm Paul
i never liked this sweater
even though it’s new

10:40pm Cari
Well, you can still give it to a homeless person.
He or she won’t mind.
Might not even notice.
Now it’s like I vomited all over the homeless.

10:42pm Paul
way to go, cari
it’s not a big deal
it’s just john hodgeman
you’ll meet better celebrities than that
[snipped]

10:45pm Cari
[snipped]
it’s not the celebrity, it’s that he’s really funny, and nice and I like him.
And I have nothing funny or original to offer spur of the moment.
If I could write him an email, maybe something would surprise me.
But you can’t send emails at book signings.

10:49pm Paul
right
most people don’t do well in those situations
so don’t beat yourself up

10:50pm Cari
I just don’t want to be one of those assholes who asks what their favorite cereal is.
Or this dick in front of me who accused JH of making him miss his dinner.
And JH was pretty gracious all things considered, and said he’d come from a taping (The Daily Show) so he hadn’t eaten dinner either, and did that guy want to stay and sign all these people’s books so JH could go eat a steak?
Hahaha, that was awesome.
It wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t been feeling so unmoored this week.