People, as much as I adore petting your dog in bars, please, please do not bring him or her where loud music and/or humans are present. Try to view a loud, hipster bar from their perspective: dogs have exceptionally good hearing (and olfactory prowess) and the noise probably feels pretty bombastic to them. They cannot cover their floppy ears with their adorable paws. Even if your dog doesn’t have Noise Phobia, if you have to raise your voice to be heard over the music or noise then your dog would probably be happier elsewhere.

I’m not saying you should arrange your life around your dog or neglect your dog by leaving it alone all day and night whilst you frolic. All I am suggesting is going to a quieter bar or going out earlier before it gets loud or maybe just being a little sensitive to your dog’s needs instead of being a selfish, unthinking dick head.

The worst example of this I ever saw was a woman walked her dog into Barcade and two steps in the dog turned around and tried to run out the door. Like, an honest-to-god attempt to make a break for it. And she dragged it inside anyway. Also awful to witness was this woman who brought the cutest, tiniest, snuggliest puppy into Barcade like it was a friggin’ doll. It was pretty loud inside. Both R. and I were aghast.

Unrelated to noise, on really hot or humid days you should have a bottle of water with you in case your dog gets thirsty. One time I saw this woman jog across the Williamsburg bridge with her dog and then turn right around and jog back. It was a hot, humid day and that dog looked pooped and dehydrated. That’s nearly 3 miles under a hot sun, lady! If you want to know how your dog feels, next time wear a sweater while you’re jogging! Barefoot on hot concrete!

I also don’t think people should smoke around pets (or children, obviously), even outdoors. And people shouldn’t swear in front of children, even if they’re going to learn it elsewhere, you should show them it is possible to convey ideas sans obscenities. That last bit doesn’t have to do with dogs, but right now for me they are still kind of the same thing.