excerpt from an email i sent my friend, from whom i’m purchasing clothing on ebay:

“i am beginning to hate everyone under the age of 21, especially at stupid all ages shows at irving. thank god the most recent shows have been at bowery. i had no idea how much i loved the place until the faint, the rapture, etc. played irving.

concert people snuggled warmly under my blanket of hatred include: people who mosh, loud talkers, loud singers, people who throw things and hurt people, men who rub their crotches against your back, drunk women who jump up and down excitedly against their boyfriend’s crotch in time to the music, and the boyfriends who look embarrassed when she falls all over the place, but pretend they don’t mind because dignity and self-respect don’t hold a candle to hot, drunken, date-rapish action.

it’s enough to make me lose faith in humanity.

that and all of the “ass inspectors” lining the streets and subways (including the cops), who work tirelessly to ensure that no woman’s ass goes uninspected. when i’m out with shawn, i like to assign numbers, “hey, check out ass inspector #45!”