So, I’m attempting to read Dianetics by good ol’ L. Ron because I saw those commercials when I was younger (with the volcano and “Is it possible to discover my purpose in life? See page 49!”) and I am curious.Unfortunately, it has been slow going because a) Dianetics is astoundingly boring and repetitive, b) the language is über pseudo-intellectual - poking fun at the high-flown language of doctors and physicists but also pandering to the ignorant masses by using “big words” and printing definitions in the footnotes, in an attempt to make them feel intelligent and deep, and c) is chock-full of specious “facts”, citing “proofs” such as “it has been proven”, “many believe”, “as has been shown in numerous laboratory experiments”.Dianetics seeks to distance itself from false religions and general quackery by assuring its readers that all concepts contained therein are quantifiable using scientific method and scientific theory. It then refrains from describing the actual methods or theories (or to specify which experiments were conducted where and by whom and with what results) used to support the ideas found in Dianetics.Here is my own version of the pompous, long-winded and empty logic encountered thus far:It has been proven beyond a doubt through stringent scientific methodology that pygmies make the best gourmet pastry chefs. Many people, throughout history, have found this to be true and the proliferation of gourmet pastries by pygmies has been heavily documented. However, it wasn’t until the advent of atomic energy that this pastry virtuosity has been used to its full potential, which will be discussed further and in greater detail later on in this book.First, you must ask yourself, “What are pastries?” You might say: Well, they are sweet. They are sometimes flaky and sometimes creamy. These are all true statements. But what makes a pastry truly a pastry? It is the pastry’s pure essence, which we call Scrumpty-licious-ness which is present from inception to digestion, that defines pastry and separates it from the mere cookie or pie. As you continue reading and learn more about Scrumpty-licious-ness, you will see that pygmies truly are the finest creators of pastry and possess an innate incomparability when it comes to creating pastry’s sweet goodness.