Because we know you’ve been waiting…we know you’ve been dying to know, it’s time we announced the official painkiller.org presidential endorsement: That’s right, throw your hands in the air and wave them vigorously as if you pretty much don’t care and join us in helping to elect Barack Obama to the presidency.

Certainly anyone who reads our site with any regularity has probably figured out that we have a sickening liberal agenda here. But even still, what we probably don’t spend enough time repeating is just how generally disappointing we find the democratic party as a whole. The central failing of the democratic party is that, time and time again, they have proven themselves loathe to take firm positions on almost any issue, opting rather to define themselves by what they don’t stand for, ie. what the Republicans do stand for. It doesn’t take a logician to understand that a contrarian stance is not an actual political position, so no one should be surprised that Democrats have a wishy-washy reputation. Their platform is a shambles. It doesn’t move, it doesn’t inspire, it doesn’t capture the hearts and minds of a cynical and apathetic nation.

Barack Obama has an astoundingly fresh perspective. He seems to be genuinely moved by his point of view, and he has no qualms in conveying those views with the utmost clarity. He’s also not saddled by the baby-boomer hippy guilt that seems to drive so many of our modern democratic leaders. That guilt that made John Kerry introduce himself in 2004 with “I’m John Kerry and I’m reporting for duty!” It’s the guilt that made all of Hillary Clinton’s tough talk about Iraq even four years ago seem like she was already hedging to beat a superior Republican candidate. It’s tough talk jock talk from the mouths of intellectuals and it doesn’t ring true.

So it’s time to gear up. It’s time to engage. Start reading. Start listening to the candidates. Use the cerebrum a little bit. If nothing else, even if none of the candidates are quite your cup of tea, you have to admit that it would be pretty amazing to see a truly engaged electorate this year. That would make Democracy a little prettier if only for a day. And if you take our advice, imagine one more thing: Imagine how our Democracy will look to angry young Muslim men throughout the Middle East if they wake up one morning to see the face of Barack Hussein Obama as he is sworn into the highest office on the planet.